The Knot in My Brain

     Do you resist things? I have noticed that I do.  I resist change, I resist

suggestions from my husband, I resist trying things differently, I resist letting

myself be softened.  Resist, resist, resist. For instance, I decided to stop eating

after dinner by 7 pm.  This sounds like such a simple thing to do.  But my brain

started coming up with all kinds of excuses of why it would not work.  “You

need food to help you relax in the evening.”  “You didn’t have time to get

dinner ready and eat by 7 pm. tonight.”  “You feel hungry again before bed.”

      It is kind of like a knot I have in my forearm, where the muscle is soooo tight

from playing tennis.  I keep rubbing it trying to loosen it up.

What if your mind is just tangled in knots of resistance and you can loosen

those knots with new thoughts?  “I’ll just be open and curious about what

husband says today.” “I’ll try eating this food today because maybe it will be

interesting and different.” “I’ll try not eating after dinner tonight because I’m

curious to see how my body feels in the morning.”

    Put on your scientist’s hat for a day, and every time you feel that resistance

flaring up, be curious.  Open.  Fascinated. When we approach a thought with

curiosity or fascination, we usually find it is not so bad on the other side of the

resistance.  The knot may not go away immediately, but the act of being

aware and curious tends to loosen it.  What if you are curious for several days

in a row, and loosen that thought more each day?  Then the possibility of

believing a new thought begins to take seed.  Let it.

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